ENG121 Week 3 – Discussion- Critical Response Essay Rough Draft - Peer Review

My working thesis is connected to my support paragraphs since in my support paragraphs I have explained the challenges the mother is facing. When explaining the challenges faced by the mother, I have tried to explain how they affect parenting.  In my last support paragraph, I have given a solution to the challenges faced by Downs. The last support paragraph is connected to my thesis since I have explained how a solution to the challenges faced in parenting must not be a perfect solution.

Based on the thesis, the readers would expect the support paragraphs to cover the challenges faced in parenting and a solution to these challenges. They would also expect the challenges to be faced by both the father and the mother of the child. This makes the connection between the thesis and the support paragraphs not very clear since my support paragraphs cover the challenges faced by the mother. I can therefore, modify my thesis statement to be in such a way that it is only the mother facing the challenges in parenting.

In determining the most important topic in the library essay I selected, I looked for what people experience in real life. It was also vital that the topic had covered a large proportion of the essay. I think the importance of the topic would be clear to anyone who has experienced parenting issues without my explanation. This is because so many people face challenges associated with parenting and they are always forced to find a solution to the challenges. However, to somebody without a child, I would have to make it look like an imagination for him/her to get the message.

Regarding my critical response to the topic in the library essay I selected, the author does not also explain whether the husband knew about her challenges. Her husband could have helped out where possible. Moreover, in my body paragraphs, I explain the parenting challenges that mothers face. This is in line with what the essay says.

In writing the rough draft, sometimes it was difficult to get the supporting sentences in the body paragraphs. The story is short and I found myself repeating some of the supporting sentences. However, it was very easy to get the topic sentences to start with. This is because the story was very easy for me to understand.