MGT330 Assignments Week 3 Journal

The three issues my tutor concentrated on in my week 2 assignments include the strength of my thesis statement, paragraphing structure and cohesion of my work. On the issue of the thesis statement, the tutor noted that three elements are important to make it strong.

Qualification, stance and rationale are the major elements of a strong thesis statement. While the tutor noted that I had taken a position and given a rationale for it, the qualification aspect of the thesis statement was missing. As such, the process to make my thesis statement stronger would call for additional information about what qualifies my position in the paper.

On the paragraphing structure, the tutor raised concern about the clarity of my topic sentences. It was noted that most of my topic sentences were ambiguous. Although they gave a rough idea of what I intended to discuss, they did not precisely tell the reader the exact issue at hand. On the other hand, the tutor noted that I used a lot of conjunctions in my work. As such, achieving cohesion in my paper seamed forced. As such, the advice was that ensuring that I combine ideas in a cohesive way would help me avoid use of too many joining words.

Grammarly was an important tool to use on Ashford’s Writing Center Paper Review service. It pointed out two major weaknesses in my work. One it shed light on wordiness. For example, use of such words as ‘particularly’, ‘in fact’ and ‘indeed’ made my work looks wordy. Instead, I got different options that would help me use straightforward words that would make it easy to convey targeted information precisely and clearly. I intend to improve on these areas through paying closer attention to paragraphing and cohesion in my work.